Spinach Dip, Real Hot Chicks
by Jellyfish McGee
Summary: Bella is inher history class, which she hates... Emmett is in the mood for a fight, and may have ruined Mike's chances of collage and reputation and put a damper on his permanent record Very weird, twisted like cheese strings :P i likes it! one shot


**I needed to post this. It's for my sister. It's stupid, weird, and 100% true story. I witnessed it from the next classroom! Yes, I finished it, I hope you like it. Happy reading, Rolypoly!**

I hate history. It was the one class that I didn't have with Edward.

I sat beside Mike, as usual. He smiled at me and we made small talk. He obviously hadn't gotten over me and Edward… well that was his problem. I tried to listen to the teacher, Mr Soyhl. I hated Mr Soyhl. He was my least favourite person in the world, apart from Victoria.

I. Hate. Him.

I was going to fail my exams, because he was a useless teacher. He couldn't teach a monkey to shit. He openly told us that he got his facts from watching TV, and had an awkward lisp and pronounced the word 'book' like 'booooooooooooooke'. And not to mention the fact that he made up his facts and dates as he went along. He didn't let us use our books, and gave us his vague 'information' to write down. And it was all wrong, and usually conspiracy theories. I usually sat with my book under the table taking down my notes when he wasn't looking.

Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were in this class as well, but they sat further down the back. Rosalie sat in front of Jasper and Emmett, down the back.

Today he was telling us how Fidel Castro killed Bobby Kennedy, and what the Yeti had to do with this.

"Oi! Ohay sthudents, take out yer finithed pwodeths. If you don't have them finithed, do it now," he said in his incomprehensible lisp. Mike took out his, and started writing furiously. He was on his fourth draft, and was half way done. We only had this class to finish up, and then the projects had to be sent off.

"I want to do revision," Eric said. Everyone knew well that Eric didn't take history seriously, so people began sniggering. "Give me back my copy so I can do revision,"

Then I realised that that stupid teacher had all of my essays. I would write them and hand them up to be corrected, but then he'd never give them back. He probably burned them for heat in the bush that he seemed to live in, or ate them because he spent all of his wages on road running shoes, as he frequently reminded us that he had flat feet.

"Can I have my essays back?" I asked. "I wont learn anything if I cant see where I went wrong,"

"Erm… I… I'll post them to you," he hedged. I rolled my eyes. Idiot.

Emmett had a water bottle out on his desk. I glanced back to see him flicking water at Rose every so often. She would turn around and hiss now and then, and Emmett and Jasper would giggle.

Emmett did it again, and Rosalie snapped.

"Emmett do you WANT to get on my bad side?" she growled. Everyone turned to look at her, and she turned around again, furious. Emmett snickered again, and flicked more water.

Did he have a death wish?

Only then did I see that the water was aimed at me, and I quickly grabbed my binder, knocking my stuff off the desk, to shield myself. The water splashed against it, wetting my hair, and also splashing Mike's project, ruining it by smudging the ink into a big, blue blur. Mike looked up at me, slowly, murderously.

"What. The. Hell. Bella." He growled.

"Hey Mike, that was me you big jackass, leave Bella out of this!" Emmett yelled.

He and Mike stood up at exactly the same. Emmett knocked over his table, making jasper jump. Mike, not wanting to outdone, pushed over our table with a little bit of effort.

"Miiiike!" I complained.

"Sorry Bella." He said as he made his way over to Emmett. Emmett looked like a tank, knocking over all the tables and chairs in his path. People had begun to get scared and were jumping out of their seats so they wouldn't get crushed by Emmett.

"You. Ruined. My. Project." Mike snorted furiously. "That. Was. My. Last. One."

"Boo-hoo." Said Emmett, breaking the leg off an over-turned table. "What are you going to do about it?"

Mike looked momentarily shocked, and then lunged at Emmett, kicking and screaming. He hit into Emmett's solid torso like it was a brick wall, and bounced backward. Mike yelped in pain, and the Emmett grabbed him in a headlock, and flung him across the room, scattering more tables. Jessica screamed and jumped up on a table, and Lauren fainted. Emmett looked over at me and winked, and walked slowly over to Mike, on the floor.

"Sthop that at onth!" Mr Soyhl screamed. Emmett just kept going, and picked Mike up by the collar. He set him on his feet, and Mike lunged again. This time Emmett pretended to stumble backwards, crushing two tables on his way. He ran back and grabbed Mike by the shoulders, and pretended to be as weak as a human, wrestling Mike around the room, smashing the furniture as they did it.

Mr Soyhl continued to yell, but no-one listened to him, and everyone just started screaming and pushing tables out of the way of the boys. Nobody ever listened to Mr Soyhl.

Boys, boys, boys… Emmett should really get a hobby…

Mr Soyhl rushed over to the boys, yelling profanities.

"EMMETT! MIKE! GO TO THE PWINCIPLES OFFISH!" he screeched. Emmett let go of Mike and shrugged. He walked out of the room wordlessly.

Everyone stared at each other.

"Well," Mike said. "I think showed him,"

**OHhh fyi, Mr Soyhl is a real teacher, everything about him is true:) he is the biggest monkey-headed jerk ever!**

**Review! Should I continue the adventures in mr Soyhl's class?**


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